i want to fart as well but i am afraid i will shit myself


Sometimes in our lives there are those moments that seem to make all the difference. Out of billions of moments we only remember them and we do not know why. Is it God who makes us memorize this in vain hope we will catch a glimpse of our purpose or is it a chemical clog up in our overused yet marginal brains. Maybe the mystery of these moments will be reviled to us in next ten thousand years but now we are clueless.

I had a moment like that when I decided to finally write a movie script. The story is about a guy called Greg. Greg is poor white male, he ends up in prison because he drove drunk and crashed into a school bus full of promising and super talented orphans. All the orphans died and he spent ten years in maximum security jail where he learned yoga, origami and forex investing.

When Greg got out his first wish was to visit his parents but he immediately got amnesia and ended up in a mental institution. He could not remember who he was but he remembered all his skills from prison. The psychiatrist in the institution wanted to make an experiment and lied to Greg that he found out who he was - in fact he invented a whole new identity for Greg. That is how Greg became John, a wealthy millionaire who lost everything on stock market and was planning an amazing comeback.

Greg, actually now John, started working his way up the investment ladder and soon gathered enough capital to focus on more relaxing things in his life. It took him five years to become a millionaire so he wanted to try something different. He hired a Russian company to fly him to space.

Unfortunately, on landing from space, there was a mistake and John landed on a deserted island. The island is super small and all he could eat was fish and coconuts. For a year he ate this and he got so sick of it that he decided to leave.

Since he had nothing else to do he listened to dolphins every day all day and somehow picked up on their language. He was able to negotiate a deal with them: he would leave their fish food alone if they took him away from the island. Obviously dolphins were too stupid to understand that when they did take him away he would also automatically not be able to consume their fish. Dolphins are smartest beings on Earth but they are still quite bad at logic (no one says that logic is the main element of smart!).

What John did not know is that dolphins not only travel through space but also through time. Dolphins took John ten thousand years in the future when the same deserted island had a hotel and a library and internet café.

John went to a library and started reading all the books that were written in last ten thousand years - after he read all six of them he realized the mystery of the memorized moment.



by Nikola Tosic